#i am. me. idk man who am i to you
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“What do you like about yourself?”
#fucking gut punch in therapy today what the#i don’t think i’ve ever been asked that before#i was like “idk why i always default to thinking people aren’t gonna like me out the gate even though there’s no evidence to support that”#and she was like “well what do YOU like about yourself” and. um.#flashbacks to any time i’ve ever had to describe myself with three adjectives on a getting to know you sheet on the first day of school#i am. me. idk man who am i to you#like i know for a fact that there is a personality here i just don’t know what it is until someone points it out#like woah dude thanks for telling me that you like this personality trait i didn’t realize i had this is wild#buddy’s buzzing
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Yeah, that about sums it up.
#in stars and time#in stars and time fanart#isat#isat fanart#isat siffrin#isat loop#sifloop#lucabyteart#me writing some of the most basic and not-a-new-concept dialogue possible: yeag ill finish this someday. maybe.#me realising the anniversary is soon: wait. extremely on the nose conclusion-of-an-essay ass dialogue is PERFECT for an anniversary piece#anyway happy birthday you fucking video game. christ. jesus christ. what the fuck happened. why have i drwawn these fucking things so much#adrienne what do you fucking Do to Me. what the Hell. thanks . i know how to draw comics now. legit. thanks but what the hell dawg#anyway no i dont know what the posing is on this theyre just kind of crumpled together. wasnt supposed 2 b a kiss because i dont think#that that fucker gets mouth privileges but like idk go nuts man. is this during canon? postcanon? some other shit? idk. your call#the world is yourrrrr oyster (this is my way of saying im hells of busy and am going back to neglecting everyone who followed me for this#specific weirdass ship content. bye. im dyig out there.)
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the lovers, reversed
(aka I'm still freaking out about Jou)
#art#ride kamens#i am about to go off on wild speculation so excuse me in advance#I HAVEN'T PLAYED THE EVENT YET so this could all be just absolutely nothing but i gotta get it out#(still debating if i wanna save the event for after i finish part 2 or not...)#this is my last chance to throw wacky theories out there okay#i've just. been thinking a lot about the riders the characters are based on and how they relate to their different classes#like the choices seemed SO random when they were first revealed but they do mostly make sense when you think about it#to the point where i actually do feel like i should've been able to call ooo for ambition. damnit.#however i did always feel like jou was a bit of an outlier and now i'm wondering if that's gonna be like...a thing#idk man just the fact that he's gonna have a special double card and bond henshin with taiten is nuts to me#especially since we're clearly on the verge of SOMETHING happening with soun and uryuu#what does it mean. WHAT DOES IT MEAN#what does this mean for the future of tower emblem#and it hasn't escaped me that there is no class associated with evolution (YET)#and thinking about who jou is based on i'm just like#(waves hands) YOU KNOW?!#(plus i'm still like WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR RUI AND HAYATE but that's a separate thing)#i'm gonna try and take my time and not rush through part 2 but i also am SO impatient#i gotta knooooow#given the way my predictions tend to go though i'm either 100% accidentally right about the dumbest thing#or jou is fine but leon fucking dies or something and i'm gonna throw my phone into a lake#HAVE FUN GUYS I GUESS
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seeing so many fellow creators' gifsets getting under 180 notes with an average reblog to like ratio of 1:3 is so disheartening. less and less people are putting out content cause it seems that no one cares anymore.
If you truly care about supporting creators at all, I encourage everyone to have a tracked tag in this economy whether you make content or not, you probably have mutuals who would love to share things with you and can't.
#also goes for creators who don't reblog much from other creators as stated recently in a post I saw everyone is part of the problem#and I feel like I tag the same 5 people all the time cause idk who to tag anymore so many people are inactive#many times I wish I could share things w ppl that I know they would like who aren't creators but they dont track a tag so 🤷🏻#and just bc someone tags you doesnt mean you should feel obligated to reblog it. just puts things in your line of sight is all#I am once again asking u to share things w your followers (me)#BC MY DASH IS FUCKIN DEAD ALL THE TIME MAN
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Huzzah! It's birthday time! I'm slowly accumulating more and more things I like (latest additions this vest I made and a travel typewriter! Still need to fix the latter one though)
Sure has been a year.
#terri#niart#got my wisdom toofies out#well 2 out of 4#still got stitches#idk if this removal lowkey fixed my fear of the dentist?#it was so easy and painless#also finally i'm on anxiety meds jkahsdjash#i also got depression meds but i haven't tested them yet#I'm going to see the love of my life soon again!!!#only 2 more months to go....#i've also finally found awesome friends who don't make me feel like i'm insane for wanting to be cared for#the difference is like night and day#old friends saying hey let's surprise another friend of ours oh also i think it's your birthday on that day#new friends reminding me to pick a brunch place for us to go on my special day#i am sobbing#the right people are out there#don't lose hope#i've never felt this platonically loved honestly#also yes i'm working on the next dragon's lair aksjdhasjkd#just#a lot of things happening and i'm sooo burnt out#this piece was such a strain and i just#don't have patience for art rn#this is photobashed btw there's an actual photo of my typewriter under all those layers#i'm not about to spend 300 hours just to draw a typewriter from this angle kajshdjkasdh#ALSO ONE MORE THING CAN I JUST GUSH ABOUT THE ANASTASIA BROADWAY OKAY?!?!?!#I didn't realise until now that they made it way more historically inspired and i mean bruh BRUH#i have been having a recording of it playing on the background nonstop for like 3 days now#Vladimir Popov I want to inject you straight into my veins holy shit he is a perfect man
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it is completely one hundred percent baffling to me that any of the foxes would come away from witnessing neil and andrew's reunion in baltimore with the opinion that their relationship was just hate fucking . like my brother in christ are you blind
#andrew was FERAL .#he fucking choked KEVIN like COME ON#and he was like RACING into the room to see neil and#he was all like *tugs neil's hoodie to get his attention* *threatens anyone who tried to come close to them (abby)*#he was all like 'i dont trust them to give you back.' come on man .#and neil was looking at andrew . most definitely Like That. when he was talking to abby#neil was all battered and bruised from barely dodging a fucking death sentence and he sees andrews partly red eye and thats#the first thing he talks about#*lightly taps a thumb against the bruise at andrews eye* i didnt know theyd staged a riot#they were all like Looking at each other and ..... idk i am not explaining this well enough but .#you don't need me to. you all read it#it was So Fucking Obvious my god#im crying bc even neil thought nicky wasnt far from the truth at that point#like he could not have been more incorrect istg .#aftg#andreil#neil josten#andrew minyard#all for the game#mi ne
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FIRST KANAPHAN as Kant THE HEART KILLERS (2024) dir. Jojo Tichakorn Phukhaotong
#the heart killers#theheartkillersedit#thkedit#first kanaphan#asianlgbtqdramas#tvedit#usertaeminie#useranusia#*m#shiniest eyes you will ever see oooooooooh he wants me to look at him so bad#man idk who to tag in this who are my bl mutuals idk#anyway look forward to prob more gifs of him tomorrow like i'm not great at giffing shows it just doesn't click for me but i AM great at#looking at first's face so#but it's past 1am here rn so i gotta sleep before i do ANYTHING
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was overcome with the urge to draw "wade tenderly caressing logan's face while he's Feeling Big Angsty Stuff" and then the parallel urge to do a follow-up of "logan kissing wade's hand/holding onto him for dear life"
(anyway hope you like it - I have been looking at this for too long and so of course I hate it now 🫠 art is hard guys lol)
some details below the cut because I am happy with some small aspects - still really enjoying the painting part of doing Wade's scars for example (thanks again @woof-verine for that inspo it is just baked into my psyche now, and also for being a forever enjoyer of pointy ears Logan - sorry couldn't quite get the fangs in this time but they are there trust me!!)
ps. was listening to She Calls Me Back by Noah Kahan for this one. idk it just hits for me in my poolverine-addled state lol
#poolverine#he's just a sad wet angsty little guy (aka 200 year old perfect killing machine)#(sorry wolvie you're not a killing machine really)#(you're just a lil guy who wants nothing more then to kiss your bf's hands while he tenderly caresses your face)#(and tells you everything is going to be okay)#was listening to the song she calls me back by noah kahan a lot last night#idk man the lyrics just hit the poolverine brainrot so good#like???#“lost for a long time/two parallel lines/everything's alright when/she calls me back”#“look at me and dont you lie/I could be your sacrifice��� “I do not exist to die/but live to die while saving you”#“does it bite at your edges/do you lie awake restless/why am I so obsessive/hanging on to every sentence”#gah it is so bad you guys#but also so good#anyway hope these make sense#wolverine#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool & wolverine#deadpool#deadclaws#deadpool 3#deadpool x wolverine#poolverine fanart
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Madoka is the promise you won't turn from a child, full of hopes and dreams and the wish to save the world, into a bitter adult who just wants to hurt others and ruin people's lives
Madoka promised to be there for you to remind you of the person you wanted to be and to stop you from becoming what you sought to destroy
Madoka made that promise and became the very embodiment of it
#Moon posting#Feeling emotional about Madoka Magica all out of the blue and I'm making it your problem#IDK I saw a video in my YT reccs ranking Doremi toys and I really enjoyed it (sadly can't remember who it was)#So I went to check what other content the person had made and they had recently-ish done a blind reaction to Madoka#Didn't watch the whole thing just The Good Shit at like double speed (it was completely uncut and I wasn't in the mood for a full rewatch)#And god. The way the fucking ending to this series still makes me fucking sob like a baby EVEN WHEN WATCHING AT DOUBLE SPEED#I dunno what to tell you I really like that series. Like I just do. Madoka is Good Actually#IDK I feel like everyone has a lot of Opinions about the series and all I can say is that y'all are wrong and don't understand it#MADOKA ISN'T ABOUT BEING EDGY GRIMDARK TORTURE PORN!!! IT'S ABOUT HOPE!! AND DREAMS!! AND NOT GIVING UP!!#Y'all remember that post about how sometimes if you need to imagine Naruto encouraging you to help you get out of bed and brush your teeth#Then you imagine that dattebayo#And that is literally what Madoka is.#Except instead of self-care Madoka is there to stop you from being a toxic little dickweed and be nice to others#Sometimes you need to stop and ask: Would Madoka do that? Would Madoka say that? Would she be proud of me right now?#Don't ask me why I'm posting this it is 5 am I should be in bed man
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House md really is the gayest of gay queerbait. Like I’m sorry but besides SPN and maybe Sherlock no one was doing it like them. And the thing is I don’t even think it was intentional??? House md was unbelievably popular but in a normal Game of Thrones, Grey’s Anatomy way. It’s the kinda show that everyone’s mom watched when it first came out on cable (mine included). Appealing to a young queer internet audience in 2007 wasn’t a marketing strategy they would ever attempt. It doesn’t make sense.
And yet.
The sheer amount of gay jokes and allegories is just overwhelming by the time you get to the last season. Amber is Wilson’s House proxy, House and Wilson move in together TWICE, the fake marriage proposal, the exploration of toxic masculinity, Wilson’s 3 failed marriages, fucking everything about the last few eps. Like what other tv show spent almost a decade creating the most co-dependent, self-sabotaging relationship between its two main male characters that is essentially the backbone of the entire show. They literally ride off into the sunset together. Idk what else you want from me.
#House md#hatecrimes md#house#wilson#hilson#Listen#ive probably made this exact post before#And I’ll make it again#Cuz that show is batshit crazy#And one of the best worst experiences of my life#i am a changed man#i can never go back to who i was those years ago#“I need you to tell me that you love me”#Every winter i return to my house era#Every summer too#I think its a curse or smthn idk
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Artfight against @ejsuperstar ft. The Mad King and Chip. They're both so evil. I hope they have the most extravagant downfall of any onscreen villain.
This interaction is based on a little fic writing >:)
#For those who are reading the tags- Chip is ejsuperstar's Cookie Clicker OC. LIKE- COOKIE CLICKER. FROM DA GAME. IT'S FUCKING BRILLIANT.#Okay now to talk in the comments#first of all. The fic is literally so good. I had the privilege to read it uwu#These two are literally so evil. They just show it in different ways.#Bravus in intimidation and cunning And then Chip with his manipulation and deceit.#Also the “Magic” vs “Science” motif here is so 👀😤✨💅#i mean. Bravus is from medieval times so of course he thinks anything like what Chip has is magic. But ALSO Magic 100% is real in his world#I think it'd be neat to keep my human's slitted irises. They look human- but just slightly off to make anyone in your AU notice#forgive my human facial anatomy *cries*#the *Poof* is a reference to fairly odd parents. LMAO#I'll post the speedpaint later if ur down! Videos always take so long for them to upload here#The Mad King#I am so happy with how this turned out. Like seriously. Took me about 3 hours???? idk i need to check#hope you like it. *bonks you*#I love how Chip is still intimating with a fricking cookie in his hand. Man looks so silly#art#my art#chip#deltarune#deltarune chara timeline#cookie clicker#cookie clicker oc
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Jaiden: Cucurucho, you have a lot of power, right?
Cucurucho: ...I don't know. Maybe.
Roier: Ah... Yes, you know, don't act like a dumbass, you have it. You have it, man. Eh?
Jaiden: Is there a way for us to protect all the Eggs? Do you know? I don't want anything to happen to the Eggs that happened to Bobby.
Cucurucho: Ha ha ha
Roier: WHAT? [Smacks Cucurucho]
Jaiden: [Bops him] Headpats.
Cucurucho: Maybe.
Jaiden: [Continues to bop him] Headpats. C'mon, I can get it out of you! Headpats! Chin scratches! Belly rubs!
Roier: [Joins Jaiden in bopping Cucurucho, chuckling and laughs]
Jaiden: Yeah? He's comin' around!
[Jaiden and Roier both laugh]
#Jaiden Animations#Roier#Cucurucho#QSMP#Jaiden#Animations Family#There is. So much I could say about these three#and so much I could say about their relationship / interactions with Cucurucho and Osito Bimbo#Cards on the table... I really would have loved it if Cucurucho / Osito genuinely cared about Jaiden#I mean I know they DID care about her to some extent that much is clear#But they / the Federation were also ABSOLUTELY using her. I'm not arguing that they weren't#But how could anyone not be charmed by Jaiden? The boba the tea parties the head pats–#The empathy and kindness and everything that made q!Jaiden who she was–#Cucurucho and Osito were tools of the Federation but I do want to believe they cared about Jaiden. Albeit in their own fricked up way#I dunno. I know this sounds like massive copium probably but I watched all of her and Roier's streams interacting with them#and I personally think that conflict and duality makes for a more interesting story#But that's just me and my own personal biases. I dunno how to properly put it into words but I am cradling them all close to my heart#I loved Cucurucho / Osito and I thought they were interesting and I'm SO SAD we'll never know what Jaiden did for them in the past#Anyways. For anyone who's read this far into my rant– you know how Cucurucho saved the Eggs and Jaiden said she died in Purgatory?#I like imagining that she survived the bomb and wound up finding the Eggs in the aftermath#and she helped them survive until Cucurucho found them#I imagine that Jaiden was the reason they were able to escape from the Island / The Watcher / ElQuackity#She stayed behind to slow down their pursuers. And Cucurucho rescuing all the Eggs fulfilled his agreement with Jaiden—#A promise to protect the Eggs#Like I said a lot of this is copium but that's what I like imagining#TLDR: Cucurucho / Osito did care about her in a weird way but that doesn't mean they weren't manipulating her#May 31 2023#Idk man I got a lot of emotions about q!Jaiden#Roier too but I feel like I've done way more analysis posts about him and Cucurucho. Jaiden needs time in the spotlight#Anyways there's my monthly tag rant
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It shocks me that the Hatchetfield fandom doesn’t embrace the fact so many of the characters are garbage people. Max Jagerman? Horrible person, a bully and sexual harasser. So damn fun to watch. Linda Monroe? Annoying Karen mother who’s entitled and selfish. Amazing character, give us more of her being just the worst.
With a series full of characters who span from being assholes to down right evil people, it’s shocking that there’s so much hate towards people who like these characters. Let people like morally bad characters, it’s fun! Hell, make them likable if that’s what’ll make you happy. If you don’t like how someone else sees a character, maybe you’re the problem
Maybe I’m missing the point, I dunno. I love antagonists in any media really, Hatchetfield especially. Let people like the characters they like, hell let them redeem the ones that may be considered redeemable. If you don’t think they’re redeemable, cool. Move on with your life :)
#starkid#Sorry I read the starcanwrecked confessions blog too much#Any time there’s an argument on whether you’re a bad person for liking a bad character I puke in my mouth#You’re not a bad person if you like bad characters#I feel like that’s common knowledge and then I remember this is tumblr#team starkid#hatchetfield#Maybe I’m missing the point#If I am lmk#It’s exhausting seeing the way the fandom just hates on some characters#they’re fictional#remember that#Yknow what character doesn’t have this problem#Ted spankoffski that’s who#Yall see the bastard man and adore him but the second you see Grace Chasity you freak out#Again maybe I’m just missing the point#Idk#tell me why I’m wrong or something#I’d be glad to read why
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something simple to try to get out of art block (it didn't work)
#alek art#ninjago#zane julien#2024#i am very unhappy with this and sooo in order to feel better i am going to talk about him#system zane is very real to me. i always give him six main alters (but i do believe there is more lol)#systems cannot just pick and choose who front depending on the day i am very aware (i am a system) its more on the nose symbolism#the fifth one crossed out is the ice emperor. in canon he exists in zane's mind as an “alter ego” of sorts which is crazy to me#character has canon dissociative episodes... amnesia... and several different “personalities” / identities? sounds familiar idk#i talked a lot about this hc on my long ass zane hc post thanks for the ask btw npderzane#its not an au its just how i see him so just imagine every zane i draw as system zane. ill only specify it in the tags if its system related#that one post thats like. 'being a did system sucks which one of us poured instant coffee in the bathtub!' thats the average zane experience#he wakes up and everyones like “mannn zane you were going crazyyy on prime empire yesterday” and hes like ??? i did not play any video games#and then he looks at the calender and 6 months have passed. semi true story that happened to me#also alters having incredibly different food preferences is funny. zane doesnt eat anything ever vs boone who eats raw meat sometimes#zane having really weird characterization? and its very inconsistent / bad writing uhhh alek explanation is hes a system and nobody can mask#man its 1 pm :|#i hate this drawing so much i dont even want to look at it but it took time so ill post it#i also have another zane drawing in my drafts i should post. from like 2 months ago???
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Severus 🐍
Aside from Harry and Hermione, he is arguably the next character whose pov I read about the most (gen or ship wise). Can't help that he's too interesting of a character for me to ignore when written right.
#doodle#fanart#severus snape#professor snape#snape#snape fanart#hp fanart#harry potter fanart#i love fanon snape#mostly bc i barely remember canon him#I admit to being a bit biased#blame the movies and fics for making me adore him#headcanon where snape is more powerful than what's portrayed in the books/movies#tall dark and broody#snarky bastard who hates everyone but has the tiniest soft spot for his youngest slytherins#he loves dumbledore minerva pomfrey and some of the staff in his own snarly way too#his own found family you could say#idk i have a lot of thoughts on this man#or my image of him anyway#but am not good at articulating it right now
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hey i know your post about your mom was mostly just a personal vent, but i have to say, do you realize that also happens with trans girls and their fathers? literally happened to one of my friends. i’m not trying to downplay your experience or something but i found it strange that you seem to think this is something that only affects transmascs
i have one question for you: so fucking what?
i don’t doubt that trans girls have experienced similar things and yeah, that’s bad too, but what the fuck does that have to do with me and the specific things i’m facing as a result of being a trans man? i never said “look at this thing that happens to ONLY trans men and NO ONE ELSE,” i just said “hey, isn’t this thing that happens to a lot of trans men, including myself, fucked up?”
i would also like to point out that what you’re talking about is in fact a different (albeit similar) thing. the way cis people treat trans people can differ dramatically based on the cis person’s gender because their commitment to gender roles is, like, a major part of problem. the specific way a cis mother reacts to her trans son’s transition is often going to be very distinct, while a cis father will likely respond to his trans daughter in a different but equally distinct way.
what i’m talking about is a very specific kind of ownership and control and self-victimization and total lack of boundaries masquerading as love and care and maternal concern that cis women (i would argue white cis women in particular) project onto their transmasc kids when we do literally anything to our bodies. i’m talking about a phenomenon which is closely related to the way moms often pass eating disorders onto their daughters (or children they view as daughters) because they see a body that looks something like theirs and project all of their insecurities and ideals onto it. i’m talking about a form of parental transphobia and projection that’s specific to the dynamic of a cis mother and her child who was “supposed to” be her daughter.
if you’ve never felt that, you’re not even remotely qualified to tell me shit about how i should be talking about that experience, and if you couldn’t recognize that experience when you read my post, i’m guessing you probably haven’t experienced it because the replies to that post made it very clear to me that anyone who has experienced it firsthand immediately knew exactly what i meant.
like, yeah, cis dads also project onto their trans daughters, but are they likely to have a reaction like running away with actual tears streaming down their face? do you expect them to passive aggressively make comments about how sad their kid’s transition makes them, how it’s such a difficult emotional time, how it’s so tragic because their kid’s body was so beautiful before? do you think their go-to transphobic reaction will be weaponizing their emotions? i’m sure there are some dads out there who are like that, but i think we can agree they’re in the minority because that’s not how cis men are taught to react and parents like this tend to be pretty damn committed to following the gender roles they were taught.
and even if i’m wrong and our experiences are exactly the same, let me reiterate that i never said this was an experience exclusive to trans men. all i said is that it happens to us. that’s just a statement of objective fact.
this started in my life when i got my hair cut short for the first time almost a decade ago and it has not stopped since. i’ve watched my mom cry over me changing my name and respond to being asked if my happiness matters more to her than my name by saying “i care about both”, i’ve watched her melt down in a mall over me getting a suit for prom and give me the silent treatment for days after, i’ve heard her plead with me to stop t because it “looks unnatural” and she’s just so “concerned for my health”, i’ve watched her stare at me post-op and say “my poor baby” over and over like she’s looking at my corpse in a casket. i’ve watched her turn herself into the victim of every single aspect of my transition. i’ve had to live with this for 9 years and spent the early years of the pandemic literally locked in a house with it. this has been my entire adolescent and adult life, and the question of if i’ll have to cut her off someday (and maybe never see my cat or my little cousins who i love more than anything in the world ever again as a result) haunts me every single day.
who the fuck are you to tell me how to talk about that?
#i hope you weren’t expecting me to take this in good faith and give a nice measured response#because just so we’re clear you didn’t have a chance in hell of doing anything other than pissing me off#like in case you forgot i am a real person who this is happening to#in what world did you think i’d care about how an anonymous stranger feels about how i describe it when im the one who has to live it#idk man. some of y’all clearly do not see me as an actual person capable of emotion and it shows#also like. using a friend’s experience is wild bc 1) how do you know it was the same if it didn’t happen to you#and 2) would that friend really want you using their experience against another trans person experiencing something similar?#anon hate#ask answered#examples of transandrophobia#transandrophobia#transandromisia#transmisandry#virilmisia#virilphobia#anti transmasculinity#transmascphobia#trans men
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